As I read these words this morning, I knew is was reading them too quickly for their meaning to sink into the places in my heart and mind they needed to sink. So, I set out to doodle them, expecting that in the process of slowing down to think about how I could express the thoughts even as I doodled the words might help me get it.
The familiarity of the statement made this harder, not easier. I knew what I thought before I took the time to think it.
Eventually I closed the app I was using, somewhat unsatisfied.
It’s a holiday, so I am not so much on the clock to be in the shower and out the door at a certain time. I checked Facebook. I made a to do list for the day. Then I came back to the doodle.
First I did a thing or two that made it visually more balanced. It was the word “pride” that felt wrong. Too left to its own definition. I started to outline all the letters with the lighter gray when it crossed my mind to only highlight the “I” in that way. Pride is about the self–and not limited to the boastful Mohammad Ali like declarations of greatness. Pride is more, I think, expressed in declarations of self-sufficiency and independence.
[It is hard to be a good American and not be proud.]
I am quite sure there are other lessons in this small bit of Scripture for me. For today, though, this is what I need to hear: my tendencies to think and act independently lead to disgrace. When I ask for help, when I truly consider the insights of others, when I know my ideas are neither the only ones or always the best ones, these are the first baby steps of wisdom.